By Henry TamburinAre you nervous carrying around buckets of coins and wads of cash? Do you feel guilty leaving town with some of the casino's money? Are you sick and tired of all your gambling buddies borrowing money from you? Are you surprised and confused when you keep winning while everyone else keeps losing? Do you have so much disposable cash that it doesn't matter how you spend it? If you answered "yes" to any of the above, I've got help for you.
Below is a compilation of the best sure-fire ways to lose your shirt in Las Vegas. Just pick any one, and in no time, your winning streak will be history.
Trust me on this.
1. Bet on Hunches
Forget about reading books that will teach you proper playing and betting strategies. Instead, rely on hunches and luck when you play. If you feel like you are "due" to win the next blackjack hand even after you've seen a bunch of Aces, by all means, increase the size of your bet. If you get the "vibes" that a particular slot machine located in the darkest corner of a casino is ripe for a jackpot, load it with coins and keep playing till it hits. If you get a hunch that your lucky number is going to win at roulette, bet it all on that number. Heck, hunch betting is a fun way to lose your money, especially on a game that you know nothing about.
2. Make Sure You are Tired
and Drunk When You Gamble
You can't expect to lose if you are sober and alert, now can you? Always take advantage of the free booze when you gamble. Forget sleeping—you can always do that back home. Get into that exciting, "I'm here to have fun," party atmosphere of Las Vegas. After you lose all your cash, you can at least tell your friends "I had a great time."
3. Go for the Comps
Are you envious of players who ask for comps and get them? You want to be treated like royalty when you come to Vegas, don't you? Here's a tip on how to get a free buffet: Instead of betting within your means, just bet more. It's that simple. Throw out a green chip now and then when the pit boss is looking your way. Better yet, throw out two green chips—that way you'll impress the pit boss with your big losses. And when you finally get around to asking him for a comp and he says, "I'm sorry but you haven't put in enough time at the tables," don't worry about it. Just keep playing and betting those green chips. Sooner or later he's bound to give you that comp for a "free" buffet. Enjoy! You earned it!
4. Head for the
Keno Lounge
If you want to lose your money in a quiet environment, this place is for you. The casino edge in keno starts at 25 percent and escalates from there. Worried that you might just get lucky and hit an eight-spot keno ticket? Don't be. The odds—close to a quarter million-to-one—say you won't. The only disadvantage is that keno is a slow game, so you'll have to have patience while you go broke.
5. Take a Fling at Craps
Don't make those sissy pass line bets where the odds are good. No, instead take those high percentage, long shot bets with the funny names. Like a bet on the hardways, or the Big 6 and 8, or better yet, on Any Craps. And every time you win, tell the dealer "to press up my bet." That lingo is sure impress your fellow players—at least until you run out of cash.
6. Play the Big Six Wheel
This will give you a rare chance to hob knob with tourists that know absolutely nothing about gambling. You've seen this carnival-like wheel. It's usually located at the entrances of casinos. This game's a breeze to play, but be careful—there are a bunch of bets on the layout and you're only interested in the worst of them. Here's one for you: Bet on the $20 symbol. With a casino edge of 22 percent, I guarantee there's not a worse bet you could make.
7. Make a Five Number
Bet in Roulette
Pay attention to this one. First, you want to make sure you select an American roulette wheel. That's the one with the numbers 1 through 36 plus 0 and 00 on the wheel and layout. Do not go near a game where the wheel has only one 0 because the odds are much better. Get yourself comfortably seated on a double 0 game and then put a pile of chips on the line separating the 0,00 from the 1,2 and 3. Can't reach the bet? Not to worry. Just tell the dealer what you want to bet and he'll position your chips correctly. Make no other bets. By betting this way, you've made the only five-number bet on the roulette layout. What's so special about this bet? It happens to be the one bet on the entire layout with the highest casino edge.
8. Play Some Oriental Games—
Like Sic Bo
You can't miss this game in a casino. The winning bets on the table layout illuminate after every decision. Sic Bo is played with three dice. You bet on different dice combinations. In fact, you're in luck because you've got your choice of several outlandish high-percentage bets. Let's see...how about a bet that the three dice will total either 5 or 16? The casino's edge is just right—47 percent! And don't worry about not knowing how to make this bet—or even how to play this game. Your friendly dealer or pit boss will gladly show you with a smile.
9. Bet the Tie in Baccarat
Here's a classy way to lose big time. Just take a seat at a baccarat table and make only one bet on the tie. Don't even think about betting on the bank or player—the percentages are way too good. No, instead you are going for the long shot tie bet that has a casino edge of about 14 percent. If you feel uncomfortable betting with the high rollers, there's another even faster way to lose your money at baccarat. Go play mini-baccarat, which is located on the main casino floor, usually adjacent to the blackjack tables. You can still bet the tie and here's the bonus: because the casino dealer is the only one that deals the cards, the game is very fast, which means you'll blow through your bankroll in no time.
10. Mimic the Blackjack Dealer.
Hey, this one's a no brainer. Just follow the same strategy as the dealer! Hit your hand on 16 or less and stand on 17 through 21 no matter what the dealer shows. And while you're playing, be sure to always make the insurance bet, always take even money when you have a blackjack, and always split 10s. If the table has a side bet like Super Sevens or Royal Match, go for it! This style of play will have you broke in no time.
11. Play Video Poker Machines
Be careful with this one. You don't want to end up playing on a machine that pays well. First, pay no mind to the payout schedules on the machine. With your goals, there's no need to get analytical. But if you insist on checking them out, then play the Jacks or Better machines that pay six—or maximum seven—coins for a full house and only five for a flush with one coin played. Nothing higher! If you look around any casino, you are bound to find them. And here are some strategy tips that will help you lose even quicker. Always keep a kicker with any pair. Always draw to an inside straight. Always keep two or more cards to the royal flush and discard the rest, even winning pairs. And never use your slot card when you play. With this approach to playing video poker, I guarantee you won't stand a chance.
12. Play the Slot Machines at the Airport
If by some miracle you still have some cash left, there's hope at the airport. The slot machines at the airport are well known for their lower paybacks. So sit right down and keep pouring those dollars into these machines right up until they make the last call to get on board. And come to think of it, why not give these machines a try as soon as you arrive to Las Vegas? That way, you can start losing before you even get to your hotel.
Perhaps you've got some losing tips from your own playing experience that you'd like to share with readers. Go ahead and send them to me (50 words or less), care of Casino Player. We'll publish the top five losing tips in a future issue. You've got nothing to lose (you've already done that), and absolutely nothing to win.
Henry Tamburin is the author of Henry Tamburin on Casino Gambling - The Best of The Best, and five other best-selling books. For more of Tamburin's gambling advice visit his web site at www.smartgaming.com. For a free catalog of his products, call 1-888-353-3234.
